Ponderous four-hour
chamber drama about a pregnant vampire and how her body reacts badly to her
vampire fetus and how a world council of vampires is angry about the baby’s
existence. Instead of doing anything
that might require actual production, everyone stays in a house the entire time
and then meets for a final battle in a big field of snow where greenscreen
effects can be easily done. And cheaply
done they are, as are the performances; they both are no better than what you
can see on regular TV. They couldn’t
even spring for a real baby; the baby seems to be a toy with a moving CG face
pasted onto it. I admit to not getting the
whole Twilight thing, but I’d be
happy to enjoy a good movie, and this one is just really long and boring,
filled with fashion-model-looking people saying dumb dialogue.
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