Varsity Blues

Brian Robbins – 1999 – USA

Late 90’s guilty pleasure that successfully fuses the pervasive high school comedy with earnest “after-school special" exposé.  It works, but that’s not saying much because it’s hardly the loftiest of goals.  Intended as a star-making vehicle for a career than never materialized for James Van Der Beek, it focuses on the high school football team of a small Texas town called West Canaan, presided over by a fascistic coach played by a scenery-chewing Jon Voigt.  The film is utterly devoid of subtlety.  Every character is a one-dimensional stereotype who exists solely to advance the plot and provide visual lip-service to “diversity.”  Voigt, in particular, is so over-the-top evil that he is really more like a supervillain approaching Lex Luthor dimensions.  He scowls and snarls while forcing minors to play while injured, and he doesn’t think twice about having them injected with painkillers to finish games, blackmailing students to cover up his crimes, threatening to tamper with their grades to sabotage their college chances, and finally actually trying to choke one of them to death in front of the entire team, and all just to protect his reputation as a winner.  There’s quite a bit of unaddressed hypocrisy going on in the film too, as Van Der Beek is ostensibly a free-thinking, Vonnegut-reading, aspiring author who doesn’t take football seriously, yet nevertheless leads his team to victory with inspiring speeches, innovative new game plays, and powerhouse skills on the field.  He’s the kind of hero who is able to have his cake and eat it too.  Facing no risks and having to make no hard choices, apart from overcoming a brief ego trip, he manages to shame the entire town for their love of football while also becoming the star player and enjoying every minute of it and even finding spare time to rescue fellow-players from the team doctor’s needle and the coach’s vengeance.  All these things are only problems if you think about it too much; it’s actually pretty well-made and enjoyable all the way through.  It’s particularly effective as a satirical critique of Texas football culture, which borders on cult-like fanaticism, but it gradually weakens as it hurdles its way – per sports movie clichés – to a climax involving the Big Game, where Van Der Beek achieves Christ-like righteousness by outwitting the evil coach and winning the game while still looking down his nose at the frivolous priorities of every other human being in his life.  There is one noteworthy sequence – edited in slow-motion and backed by AC/DC’s ‘Thunderstruck’ – that takes place during a nighttime game in which all the players are hung over and playing horribly.  And yes, this is the movie that contains the famous ‘whipped cream bikini’ scene starring the ridiculously gorgeous Ali Larter, which for many is worth the price of admission alone.